I felt a surge in the energy running through my body. Questions that had been emerging for several years came together and made sense in a moment. My knowing shifted, but not in a rational or intellectual way. And not just the content of the knowing shifted, but the vessel — my way of knowing — also changed.
Here’s what happened.
Since February 2022, when my husband Jed and I both had COVID, he experienced a cluster of symptoms that would just not go away: achy muscles; trouble sleeping; nightmares; intermittent cough; general lethargy; and apathy. I misread his experiences as depression related to his upcoming retirement from practicing medicine, one of many things I’d gotten wrong about what was happening in Jed’s body and brain.
Jed had said, a few months into what we were at first calling long COVID, “I think something is very wrong. I don’t think I’ll live three years.” I felt a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach.
“Don’t be silly,” I said, blowing him off, and then, “Really? What do you think is the matter?”
“Something just isn’t right,” was all he could say for sure.
A surgeon by training and temperament, Jed scheduled appointments with a variety of doctors, attacking his bizarre symptoms one by one. In the hyper-specialized world of test-driven medicine we all live in, he got several new drugs added to a growing list, but very little relief. Some of the drugs prescribed to treat one symptom added other symptoms; others did absolutely no good at all.
Jed met with a holistic practitioner trained in Eastern and Western medicine. That doctor prescribed additional bloodwork that opened up some new paths to explore what was causing Jed’s symptoms – exposure to mold and toxins, overactive immune system – but he was not able to create a path for Jed to experience relief.
Then, one day in July 2024, one of our kids got really upset with us, and Jed started shaking. For several months he had a tremor from time to time in his left hand, but this time his whole body shook.
His shaking was so sudden and so severe that it was as if I caught what his body was trying to figure out, and I started shaking too. We looked at one another, both of us shaking and short of breath.
“What just happened?” I whispered, once our adult child had stormed out of the room. They were so angry I’m not even sure they noticed what had happened between us.
“I have no idea,” Jed said.
What happened next will be in my upcoming newsletter. This is a story about what – in the Moments Method® – we call a Defining Moment, a moment your life changed that informs who you are today. Sometimes we take these moments for granted at the time. Sometimes we don’t see them until much later. This week’s invitation is to find your own Defining Moments and make a list of them using this simple exercise. Take your time … copy the exercise and keep it on your phone so when you think of Defining Moments, you can add them to your list.